What's Up With The Couches?

New furniture-based celebration baffles common sense

Oct. 22, 2007

By Brian Jones

Special to CSTV.com


Brian Jones is a football analyst for CSTV and CSTV.com.
E-mail here!


For some years now I've been mystified as to why couches are the sacrificial celebratory choice of today's college students. Recently some Kentucky fans set a couch ablaze after the Wildcats' victory over No. 1 LSU. In years past it has been the Ohio State fans after their national title, and the West Virginia Mountaineers' faithful, who I believe actually began this trend.


If I'm wrong please contact me Mountaineer fans.


You would think in the hills and mountains of West Virginia firewood would be plentiful? For the life of me, I can't ever recall couches being incinerated after an enormous, emotional, hard-fought victory during my time in college - which was some time ago...long ago...in a galaxy far, far away. But then again, maybe furniture burning was en vogue back then too, and my recollection is somewhat impaired because of the lost synapses.




Oh, I digress. Don't get me wrong, I get the wild elations that abound post victory, but why the sofa, dude?


As a kid growing up in the Lubbock area and attending Texas Tech Red Raiders games, occasionally we would storm the field. I say occasionally, because well, shoot, it was Tech. It wasn't like there was an abundance of wins, so we had to celebrate whenever the situation presented itself. We would run out onto the field to lobby for a few sweaty wristbands - they levy you a $50,000 fine for that today. Then it was time to march beside the percussion section of the Tech band as they jammed all the way back to the band hall.


As for the Tech coeds, I'm sure they continued their tailgating at the stadium, while others hustled on over to the nearest frat house for more libations. Never ever did the celebration include plumes of smoke billowing from a freshly lit couch!


I know what you're thinking; hey BJ that's countrified, conservative, bible-belt West Texas, of course you can't get away with torching a couch. That may be true, but I mean, come on! Burning furniture? You're freakin college students. Its not like you bought the furniture, either. It's probably the property of the dorm you live in, or mommy and daddy footed the bill for it. So in essence you are destroying someone else's goods!


In the future, let's spare the couches okay? If a fire is required at your next celebration, utilize the traditional combustible ingredients; a lighter, lighter fluid and some firewood!