Going South

THE END OF THE ROAD IS NOT REALLY THE END

Sun, 02 Dec 2007 09:52:01 +0000

In the end he stayed.

With his alma mater calling, offering the opportunity to transfer from leader of a new money team with almost no tradition to lead of one of college football's greatest families, Les Miles chose to stay. Was it really a hard decision? It shouldn't have been.

THE SEC CHAMPIONSHIP

Sat, 01 Dec 2007 19:47:50 +0000

Here we go. A balmy December day inside the Georgia Dome. Seats in the open air press box smack on the fifty yard line for the SEC Championship between LSU and Tennessee. The dress code? Suits and seater vests, apparently. But no one sent Going South the memo so we're here, representing in our tattered jeans, and Waxman's latest thrift shop jumper. We stick out like thick thighs in mini-skirts. And you know that's the way we like it. Life couldn't taste any sweeter if you made it with Splenda.

Nice.

SING US A SONG ABOUT THE SEC

Fri, 30 Nov 2007 23:05:23 +0000

If ever there was a week to compose pen an SEC football rendition of We Didn't Start the Fire, this was it. And even though last week, the conference had two insta-classics (ARK-LSU, UT-UK), the new parody lyrics could be derived entirely solely from the off the field events exploits of the past five days. Hirings, firings, resignings and re-signings -- the AP wire was jammed with SEC stories. If only Tthe Piano Man dug football like he does sailing.

Feel free to sing along.

BUT FIRST, HOW ABOUT SOME AT&T VIDEO SHARE PICTIONARY?

WATCH CLIP

ANN'S BURGER SHACK: HOLY COW

Thu, 29 Nov 2007 16:45:29 +0000

Today, the words rattle onto the keyboard slowly, sluggishly -- our bellies full of meat. Our minds, full of bliss.

Three words: Ann's Burger Shack. If I was a cow, this is where I'd like to end up. Fifteen miles north of downtown Atlanta, ground up, fried by Anne and shoveled into a roadtripper's mouth. Either that, or somewhere in India, where I wouldn't be eaten at all, but instead worshiped as a holy representative of divinity on earth. This is the kind of deep stuff Going South is willing to tackle that other sports reporters would shy away from.

A look at the top rated burger in the U.S.A.

MILES TO GO BEFORE I SLEEP

Wed, 28 Nov 2007 05:57:42 +0000

I have been on a crusade to find the answer to a question about a timeout. And after six days of searching I am no closer than when I began.

I think by "balls" he means "brain farts".

MASCOT POWER AND SADE

Tue, 27 Nov 2007 23:48:40 +0000

Robbie Robertson, everyone's favorite non-lead vocalist frontman, put it best: "The Road... it's a goddamn impossible way of life." In that spirit, Going South is starting to wind things down. In less than a week, we'll be vacating the old Impala and trading in our walking shoes for fur-lined loafers.

What's that? You thought we were going to leave you without doing one last update on the SEC Mascot Power Rankings? In the words of the inimitable Sade in her classic ballad, Lover's Rock, I couldn't do that.

Great album, by the way. Slide that in the old compact disc player and you can't help but fall headfirst into a swirling pool of romance and sensuality.

MR. WONDERFUL EVEN MORE WONDERFUL THAN WE THOUGHT

Tue, 27 Nov 2007 01:31:32 +0000

Lost amid the hubbub surrounding the Iron Bowl was our favorite Auburn story since Tigers all-everything, Quentin Groves, taught his pass rushing techniques to us.

On Wednesday, the day before Thanksgiving, we were two cars back at a stoplight on College Street when all of a sudden -- bam! -- a crash.

Groves restored calm to the grizzly scene.

WHERE DID ALL THE ANGER GO?

Sun, 25 Nov 2007 23:48:19 +0000

The Iron Bowl... the most heralded rivalry in all of college sports. Its vaunted history is filled with such mutual contempt that for nearly half a century, the teams refused to play each other. There have been battles over the ticket split, location and referee loyalties, which is to say nothing of the epic duels that have been seared into the collective Alabama memory.

The band makes its way to Jordan-Hare Stadium. And Glory.

AUBURN FANDEMONIUM: AN EXERCISE IN RESTRAINT

Sat, 24 Nov 2007 07:03:37 +0000

Toomer or not Toomer-- that was the question. Whether 'tis nobler to have a picture in the mind than to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageously sauced fans? Translation: After Auburn's 17-10 win over Alabama, did we really want to dispel the quaint notion in our heads about this most- talked about of traditions?

In the end, we decided that, yes, if you're in Auburn on the day of a football win tis required to check out the rolling of Toomer's Corner.

I'm dreaming of a white Thanksgiving.

DASHED HOPES AND EXTENDED METAPHORS

Fri, 23 Nov 2007 23:47:30 +0000

In the recently established SEC tradition of creating analogies that are sure to call down hellfire and brimstone and cause others to question my perspective and mental health, today feels like the morning after Gettysburg.

There is no joy in Mudville. Despite this beautiful photograph.

THE TIDE THAT BINDS

Thu, 22 Nov 2007 05:02:33 +0000

"Sorry, stadium parking lots are closed," the uniformed lady at the gate outside Jordan-Hare told us as we pulled up. "Otherwise," she explained, "everyone and their mother would be out here frying their turkeys."

Thanksgiving at the Hornsby's. Roll, Tide!

SLOWING DOWN, THANKFULLY

Wed, 21 Nov 2007 23:49:21 +0000

If you're ever interested in slowing down the inevitable march of time, I highly recommend Auburn, Alabama around holiday time. The hotel bill reads two nights thus far, but I'm fairly sure that we've been here something closer to say, I don't know, eternity?

It's fun to dress up the animals before slaughtering them.

SHERYL CROW SPEAKS OUT AGAINST AUBURN TRADITION

Tue, 20 Nov 2007 06:15:29 +0000

Singer Sheryl Crow has expanded her recent comments regarding excessive use of toilet paper to the Auburn tradition of Rolling Toomer's Corner.

Crow suggests curbing the use of toilet paper in football celebrations.

PILLOWS AND ALARM CLOCKS

Mon, 19 Nov 2007 06:38:58 +0000

Define 'epic.'

How's this? A five hour traffic jam in Birmingham, Alabama. Approximate speed - 0.4 miles per hour. You can check out photos at www.brutality.com.

Ah, the trials and tribulations of life on the road. When it's not dealing with the traffic jams, it's finding a place to do laundry. When it's not finding a place to do laundry, it's cleaning the car. When it's not cleaning the car, it's trying to overcome the temptation to sack and pillage the contents of the hotel room.

Wait a second...

Scrupulous morals: a dying breed.

FLUORESCENT LIGHTS, SMALL CITY

Sun, 18 Nov 2007 07:13:05 +0000

You pick up the receiver and slam it down without answering it. You know the voice on the other end is automated and telling you to wake up. There is a knock on the door. Instinctively you know who this is, too. "Can you come back in thirty minutes?" you ask the housekeeping lady, whom you know without opening the door, is overweight and dragging her feet every step of her five hour shift.

Here's a snapshot of your life.