DASHED HOPES AND EXTENDED METAPHORS
In the recently established SEC tradition of creating analogies that are sure to call down hellfire and brimstone and cause others to question my perspective and mental health, today feels like the morning after Gettysburg.
There is no joy in Mudville. Despite this beautiful photograph.
As we walk across the metaphorical battlefield, we trip over the bodies of slain SEC teams. Brothers at heart, enemies in practice, they fought as no other soldiers have fought before, probably in the history of America. And on the final day, in the last hour - if we were continue our metaphor (which we definitely should), we'd call it the Pigskin Pickett's Charge - the mighty battle claimed its last and greatest victim. Lying against the stone walls of Cemetery Ridge, gasping for air, its hopes for a national championship dashed, lies LSU. Rest in peace, great warrior.
Before delving further into the huge bummer that is LSU's loss to Arkansas, allow me to quickly weigh in on Nick Saban's perhaps overzealous use of literary devices, i.e. using 9-11 and Pearl Harbor in the same sentence as a football game. First, for our readers outside of the South, please know that the prevailing sentiment down here is, "Who the #$@! cares?" Which, personally, I think is fair sentiment. Who really cares? I'd have to imagine that if you spoke with most of the people personally connected to these events about Saban's words, the knee-jerk reaction would be nothing more than, "That guy's an idiot." Shame on Saban for not having the foresight to see that, regardless of how carefully he phrased his words, when a football coach talks about national tragedies in the context of a football game, certain folks - we like to call them the national sporting press - are going to have a field day poo-pooing you. Shame on the national sporting press for spending so much time harping on such an insignificant story. And shame on Going South for not making a killer video out of said story. We'll try to remedy the situation.
Unbridled enthusiasm: dangerous if left unchecked.
And with that, back to Gettysburg II - Arkansas 50, LSU 48. By all accounts of writers who know more than myself, LSU had essentially ousted itself from the No. 1 spot and dampened its National Championship hopes simply by allowing a 50-point scoring fiasco to occur. Unfortunately, the Wax and I were not quite sports savvy enough to realize this while watching the game, and as such remained glued to the tube, watching as Mcfadden ran Wild Hog all over LSU's feckless red zone defense. In all honesty, other than the Patriots' playoff games and the AL Championships, this game probably topped my all-time emotional involvement with a spectator sporting event.
Photographic magic - Matt in the Eagle's clutches.
At Going South, we were seriously looking forward to routing for the denizens of Baton Rouge. Not that we particularly enjoy Baton Rouge. Or like the LSU team more than any other. But as a population of fandom, there is nothing this season that has come close to rivaling the LSU faithful. These ladies and gentlemen roll into town like a tropical bayou storm; as soon as the first RV unloads its first purple-and-gold jumpsuit-clad fan, you know that the LSU has arrived with the singular goal of taking over. And while they might not accomplish said goal with any degree of class or savoir fare, they accomplish it nonetheless.
These folks deserved a National Championship. And Going South would've loved to see them get it.
Good night, sweet princes. And flights of Angels sing thee to thy rest.